Diverse relationshipsRelationships don't have to follow one particular script. While monogamy is the relationship structure most people are familiar with, many individuals and couples choose relationship styles that better reflect their values, identity, and emotional needs.
Whether you are curious about consensual non-monogamy, already practising polyamory, or simply wanting to better understand yourself and your relationships, therapy can provide a supportive and non-judgemental space to explore what works for you. As a sex-positive, gender-affirming psychologist, I work with individuals, couples, and relationship systems of all configurations. Understanding Different Relationship StructuresThere are many ways people choose to experience intimacy and commitment. Some commonly used terms include: Monogamy – A committed romantic and sexual relationship between two people. Monogamish – Relationships that are primarily monogamous while allowing occasional agreed experiences outside the relationship. Swinging – Typically involves committed couples engaging in consensual sexual experiences with other individuals or couples, while maintaining their primary relationship. Open Relationships – Relationships in which partners agree that one or both people may have sexual and, in some cases, romantic relationships with others. Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) and Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) – Umbrella terms that describe relationship structures where people engage in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships with the informed consent of everyone involved. The emphasis is on honesty, transparency, and mutual consent. Polyamory (Poly) – Having more than one loving and consensual romantic relationship, with the knowledge and agreement of everyone involved. Multiamory – A broader term often used interchangeably with polyamory, reflecting the possibility of multiple intimate relationships. These labels can be helpful, but every relationship is unique. Rather than fitting neatly into one category, many people create relationship agreements that reflect their own values and needs. Relationships are more than sexualOne of the biggest misconceptions about consensual non-monogamy is that it is simply about having more sex.
In reality, relationships are complex and involve much more than physical intimacy. Different relationships may fulfil different needs, including:
The challenges are realPeople sometimes assume that consensual non-monogamy is either easier or harder than monogamy. In reality, it presents different challenges.
Therapy often explores experiences such as:
Communication is essentialHealthy relationships—regardless of their structure—depend on open, respectful communication.
When more than two people are involved, balancing everyone's needs requires honesty, flexibility, emotional awareness, and a willingness to have ongoing conversations. Expectations, boundaries, and agreements are rarely "set and forget"; they evolve as people and relationships change. Is polyamory right for everyone?Just as monogamy is not the right relationship structure for everyone, polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy are not universally suitable.
The aim is not to decide which relationship style is "better," but to discover the relationship structure that best aligns with your values, identity, attachment needs, and life goals. Agreements, Rules and BoundariesHealthy relationships rely on clear communication and mutual understanding.While these words are often used interchangeably, they describe different concepts.
Boundaries are about what I am comfortable with and how I will care for my own wellbeing. Agreements are decisions that people make together about how their relationship will operate. Agreements are collaborative and are reviewed as relationships evolve. Rules are expectations placed on another person's behaviour. Although some relationships choose to have rules, they are generally most effective when developed collaboratively rather than imposed. Healthy agreements are not static. As relationships grow and life changes, ongoing conversations help ensure everyone's needs continue to be respected. How Therapy Can HelpWhether you are exploring a new relationship structure, navigating conflict, managing jealousy, or wanting stronger communication, therapy offers a confidential and affirming space to better understand yourself and your relationships.
Together we may explore:
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