Relationship problems can happen in any stage of the relationship, whether you have just been together for a couple of months or been in committed for several years. It can happen in all types of relationships or in any age group. Relationship problems can be caused by various factors such as differences in expectations or future plans, financial stress, values in a relationship, differences in sexual needs, and so on. Problems in a romantic relationship will trigger our stress system which could result in all kinds of stress symptoms, from feeling emotional, impulsive, tired, experiencing concentration or memory issues, difficulties breathing, increased heart rate or feeling shaky. We can even experience panic symptoms. When problems arise, there is usually one common factor: the communication between partners becomes stressed, hurtful or absent. Partners could lose their empathy for each other, which can result in conflicts or fights, and feelings of hurt. The distress and stagnated communication causes a rupture in the safe connection with your partner. Chances are you are probably both hurting.
Selma van Diest provides counselling for people who are experiencing difficulties in their relationship, whether in the area of intimacy or communication. The treatment provided is called Emotionally Focused Therapy. This treatment is proven to be effective to restore problems and requires both partners to be present during therapy. In the first session Selma would like to gain a full understanding of your relationship, the challenges you have gone through together and the issues you are experiencing. To determine which strategies could be helpful for the you to practice or explore, your desired outcomes or treatment goals will be discussed as they will determine the direction of the interventions. Some couples need some guidance in how to communicate more effectively with each other. Other couples need advice on how to compromise in a difference of opinion. Some couples need to learn how to cope with each other's emotions in a more constructive way. Other couples need to learn how to discuss needs and desires when they feel unhappy. The main focus of relationship counselling is restoring the secure bond between partners and create a safe haven where there is respect and compassion for each other's needs and desires and an ability to safely and calmly communicate these desires with each other.
Emotionally Focused Therapy provides partners in a relationship with insight and skills to improve the strength and quality of their relationship.
If you are unhappy in your relationship and you and your partner(s) are willing to work on improvement with the help of a professional, please contact Selma van Diest to book an appointment. Please be aware that Medicare does not provide rebates for relationship counselling sessions.
Selma is very aware that romantic relationships are not restricted to exist between just 2 people. Selma is skilled and experienced working outside the framework of heterosexual, monogamous relationships and invites people in open, poly or Consensual Non-Monogamous (CNM) relationships to discuss their challenges too. You are welcome to bring all partners into the therapeutic space when necessary.
Selma is open to people from all ethnical, religious, gender identity, sexual orientation or otherwise diverse backgrounds.
If you would like to read more about sexual problems that could occur in a relationship please click here.